Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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