need another drink. this is the easiest way
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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