i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
