I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
