Who did Billy Mays play for?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
