just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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