Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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