I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
