I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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