That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
