i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
