Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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