He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
