I accidentally burped into my bong.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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