My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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