Im at strip club and am horny
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
