im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
