Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Randomize
