i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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