the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Randomize
