My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
All I want is dick and wine.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
