I bet he comes in French.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
