hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
