You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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