How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
