he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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