I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
