I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
