omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I think your dad took our porno
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
