Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
