I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
