I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
