...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
