I think I just saw someone hide a body.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
