Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
