I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I don't deserve a penis
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Randomize
