I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
