I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
