Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I showed him my bush... on skype.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
