She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
