i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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