Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
