I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
be right there i have to get my cape
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
