i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
