Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
