So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
