walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
