I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
