i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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