He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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