The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
